How to develop resilience

WTF is going on in the world right now?

Honestly, between the horrible news coming from Gaza and Ukraine, the latest on the climate crisis (recent floods happened in Italy shows how close to home this is now) and the general negative vibe surrounding us... add the day-to-day commitments we all have to deal with, and I personally feel my mental health is put to the test now more than ever.

So, if you feel like me, what can you do?

How can you build some resilience so that you keep overwhelm, anxiety and other negative feelings at bay?

1. Just hit that PAUSE button.

Take that nap.

Have an early night.

Take the afternoon off work if you can, and do something else, like:

Taking a walk in the crisp autumn daylight, watching a movie, drinking a hot chocolate while reading a light novel.

Stop doom scrolling (aka scrolling social media feeds for hours on end).

Visit an art gallery.

Observe the birds at a local park.

Take pictures.

Sit down and sketch people passing by.

Spot beauty and notice it. There is abundant beauty and stillness around you, you just need to capture it.

And once you do, you get down from the hamster wheel for a moment and breathe.

You manage to, even if only briefly, expand your life and consciousness and perhaps you are able to see things from a different perspective.

2. Try this great little tool that helps build up resilience.

It's called the Four "S" of Resilience.

To develop your resilience, sit down with pen and paper and brainstorm the following:

SUPPORT: 

Who/what can you depend on at a time of crisis? 

My suggestion would be to try and choose healthy options here. As much as a bottle of Chianti sounds appealing to take the edge off times of stress, it might not be the healthiest supporting tool in the long run.

STRATEGIES: 

What strategies can you put in place or do you already use to keep you going? 

Ditto as above.

Think about healthy strategies that have worked in the past at a difficult time that can work again. 

Things like regular exercise, a nutritious diet, talking to a trusted friend, putting in place a routine or an accountability buddy to keep you focused on your goals. Taking a mental health day.

SAGACITY (i.e. Wisdom and Insight): 

Do you have a favourite phrase that feels supportive when you are overwhelmed? 

Sometimes I use "Just Do It" (Nike's words, not mine) when I don't feel motivated but I must do something, or "This Too Shall Pass" if I'm going through a bad patch. Seeing things as temporary can help enormously.  

Sometimes I try and find the funny side of things.

SOLUTION-SEEKING: 

What behaviours do you show that can help? 

You might want to brainstorm ten possible solutions to the issue you are facing. Seek the help of a coach. Talk to your boss or to your team to address any underlining tensions. Look at the learnings and the silver lining of a crappy situation. 

Keep your positive problem-solver hat on and see what options do you have to address the issues.

3. Techniques to lower your stress levels and anxiety.

At trying times, we need to find ways not to spiral into chaos and despair. 

Here are some mindset shifts and techniques you can consider to reframe the situation. 

I suggest you journal the ideas that you find most helpful, or just take yourself on an outdoor walk and ponder them.

THE CIRCLE OF CONTROL

I spoke about this in a previous edition of the newsletter, but it's worth repeating.

Think about what you can control and change if needed in your current situation: mainly, your thoughts and your actions.

There will be things you can influence: your feelings, which are a consequence of your thoughts; your body; and other people's thinking and behaviour.

Everything else is outside your sphere of control or influence.

Realising this can help make peace with the fact that there is much we cannot do - and getting anxious about it won't change things.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVITY

Bathing in negativity will not help the way you feel, and your energy levels, making it even more difficult to take positive action. 

Take a break at least once a week and surround yourself with people and places you love, and positive news (for instance, take a look at this, aptly named, Positive News magazine). If you can, avoid the toxicity and aggressiveness of some social media platforms altogether.

LEARN TO BREATHE

Any breathing exercise is good for you, but one is proven to reduce anxiety instantly and calm your nervous system. 

It's easy to learn, free and always available to you: the physiological sigh.

Listen to Dr Humberman's explanation and instructions: